Pregnant and Seminary?????

 Pregnant and Seminary????

"And so, Dear brothers and sister, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you.  Let them be a living and holy sacrifice-the kind he will find acceptable.  This is truly the way to worship him."  Romans 12:1

So I’ve been meaning to write another blog for weeks now and time seemed to keep getting away from me.  Between sickness, teeth needing to be pulled, pink eye, thinking I might be pregnant, and LOTS of time at work, I haven’t found a moment of silence to get on here and write.  I’ve had so many topics come to mind that I wanted to share about and for the life of me, not one will come to mind now.  I am going to have faith that those were inspired by me, myself, and I and NOT the Holy Spirit and therefore they never made it onto this blog.  There is one thing in recent weeks that has had my mental wheels spinning and that is just how much God has grown me in my relationship with Him.  For those close to me, you knew that here recently I had a strong feeling that I might be expecting our third precious baby.  I was beyond excited.  I love me some babies and not just my own babies.  I love ALL babies!  I envy Michelle Duggard.  I really do.  I believe that love isn’t divided, it is multiplied.God showed me that principal was true when my second child came along.  I realized that as much as I LOVED my precious Maddy girl, when I had Max, I loved him JUST as much.  Isn’t God amazing?  He gave us such a capacity to love.  The greatest gift He could bestow on us, and so reflect His heart, is to commit to love someone outside of ourselves.  So obviously with that revelation the thought of having another one to love on was immensely exciting to me.  There was just one small problem...I’ve been REALLY excited about something else God has laid on my heart, and that is this call to full time ministry and seminary.   I can honestly say each thing excites me to the fullest. So, I was perplexed and wondering, "Lord, why have you allowed such two strong, Godly desires to be placed on my heart at the same time"?  I wish I could tell you that I have the answer to my wondering and I am about to lay some full blown wisdom on everyone, but I don’t.  What I do have is one more experience to confirm that this past two years of pain, pruning, and struggle have truly brought good about in my life and has grown my relationship with the Lord so much that I even stand amazed at my reactions to circumstances in my life.  The Holy Spirit truly is the power of Christ living in us.  Let me try to explain this in a way that makes sense.  This last bought of darkness, struggle, and brokenness that I went through, brought me to a place in my life I’ve never been, a life completely and wholly surrendered to God.  Out of sheer and utter gratefulness to my Savior for, ONE MORE TIME, picking up the pieces of my choices, my wrecked life, and showing me undeserved grace, love and mercy, left me with a heart that said God, whatever. Whatever happens, whatever you want, wherever I’m supposed to go, I’ll go.  Y’all I’m scared to even write that on paper for fear that He will send me to like some place without a mall or Starbucks and were people don’t have manners, but I’m serious.  My life really does belong to Him.  Now, trust me, I’ve asked "God, in your grace, I would love to not have to go through x, y, or z, BUT, You have shown me what a great plan you have and I want to be a part of that plan".
So the possibility of me being pregnant enters the equation!  Man,I can't deny the part of me that wanted to beg God and say, "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, let me put seminary off for just a couple of years to have one more", but I knew better.  So instead I said "God, whatever".  He knows the desires of my heart, and better than even that, as Beth Moore said, He knows the HEART of my desires…more than I do, what’s underneath and what isn’t swayed by emotion or time or circumstance so I am choosing to trust Him.  Well two weeks passed and I just had a feeling I was pregnant and I was telling everyone and I was crying and getting excited because what a story it would be.  First off, God redeemed mine and Matt’s marriage. Second, I knew the day we conceived was on Easter and it was going to be this New Birth story, and it was going to bring the glory HE so richly deserved and I was going to tell EVERYONE….and then "it" showed up, a half a day late and guess what? I WAS OKAY!  I truly was and I thanked God because HE KNOWS!  Right! He truly does.  And the day I found out I was for sure 100% not pregnant, an email comes from the Seminary, reminding me I have an unfinished application that has a 30 day window or I’ll have to resubmit it!  Not the day before I found out I wasn’t pregnant, not the day after I found out I wasn’t pregnant, no, mere minutes after I knew I wasn’t pregnant I get the reminder.  Here is my gracious God gently leading me, "Daughter, finish what I’ve set before you to do.  I’ve promised you, I’m bringing good and I am.  Just be obedient".  And what amazed me most was several women who knew that I thought I might be asked me if I was mad, or sad, or disappointed. And y’all, I could honestly say, no I’m not, and how could I be.  MY Jesus knows what He is doing and I know that if it was in His plan for me to be pregnant right now, I would be writing this blog eating chili cheese Fritos and bean dip.  But instead I’m back on a diet, tears streaming down my face, and thanking my God for LOVING THIS broken girl so much.  I can’t express to y’all how MUCH He loves us.  It blows my mind when I meditate on it for too long.
So, IN VIEW OF GOD’S MERCY; Let me offer this body as a living sacrifice.  This body to do with as He wants.  I just want to bring Him glory.  I don't think anyone can know this side of eternity, HOW MUCH God has saved me from.  Please trust Him with all your heart today.  I promise you, He will NOT fail you.

In All Things, Good

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”  Romans 8:28-30

 God has spoken these verses over my life for the past year too many times for me to even count or retell you at this moment.  It has come to me at times of great sorrow and weeping when I have thought surly nothing good can come out of this brokenness.  It has come to me at times of great hope that God is indeed restoring my past and can do something remarkable with my life.  It has come to me at times of anticipation, looking ahead to what God has in store for me in this season of life.  I am convinced that there are no coincidences when we are talking about God.  If a verse comes to you in various ways several times in succession, you better perk up and listen to what He is saying.  And trust me, sometimes what He is saying isn’t any fun to hear but if we remind ourselves that we have a God who loves us so much to get our attention, then in view of THAT fact, we owe it to Him to take heed of what He is saying.  Always remembering, He does EVERYTHING, out of divine love for us.

So with that thought in mind, let me tell you why I had the strong desire to write about this to you all today.    God has just brought me out of the most difficult season of my life yet.  And trust me, there have been a lot of difficult seasons in my 32 years but nothing compares to the magnitude of this particular season.  I have been steeped in bondage, in bitterness, in fear, in the very clutches of our adversary with the thought on several occasions to just succumb once and for all and to quit fighting the good fight we’ve been called to fight.  That is wasn't worth it.  I was so weary.  Have any of you been so weary that even the thought of one more battle made you buckle at the knees?  God's so amazing though because all the while I was struggling, God would whisper Romans 8:28 to me and send that sweet reminder that He was working even though I could not feel it or see it.   And so I sit here today a free woman with a new love for my Savior that is hard for me to express in words.  I have a calling on my life that I can’t even put into words because God hasn’t revealed it all to me.  I am thinking of entering seminary because I tell you I genuinely cannot get enough of His word.  And I have the strongest urge to tell every person I know the great and mighty works God has done in my life.  That God has a calling on my life, that He is and has brought good out of my bondage, bitterness, and brokenness and He can do that for you too!  The verses that follow say nothing can separate you from the love of God and nothing is bigger than God and if He, God Almighty, The Great I AM, is for you Misty, WHO can stand against you?  And through the power of His holy spirit and His word He has brought me forth out of this most difficult season, WHOLE AND HEALED AND A FREE WOMAN.  Do you believe He can do that for you?  I don’t just believe it, I am claiming that for your life too.  As humans we want to bring God down to our level so we can wrap our head around Him and so we feel like we have an understanding that is suitable for us but ladies, that is NOT what we NEED.  If you are facing a giant do you need someone your size to face that giant with you?  Or do you need someone BIGGER than the giant?  The Word says, His ways or not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  If you are going through something difficult and you feel like at any moment you will be overcome by this giant that is so much bigger than you, then you need a God, a Savior, that is bigger than the one you have right now.  You need to get some renewal going on in your brain that the Holy Spirit brings about when we don’t conform to what this world says but we delve into His word and we let Him remind us just how BIG he is!!!  Do you know in scripture His unfailing love is mentioned 35 times!?  Have you ever had someone tell you in 35 different ways at different times that they love you unfailingly??  And could you believe them?  Do you need something or someone that WON’T fail you?  When it feels like everything in your life is failing you?  I know sister, I have been there!

 So if God almighty who cannot lie, tells us He has loved us with an unfailing love, and that His ways and thoughts aren’t like our own and He is promising us, even though our frail vision can’t see it, that He is working all things together for the GOOD of those who love Him and that NOTHING can stand against us, do we need to despair?  Do we need to stay hid out in the bed with the covers over our head scared to face what today might hold?  No ma’am we do NOT.  We need to get up, stand on the mighty promises of God and go out and let HIM be glorified in our hardships, let HIS story be told through our TRIALS and let HIS SON shine through us so other’s might see Him and be saved.  Don’t let the enemy lie to you sister about what you are going through, that it’s for nothing, that God has forgotten you, that He doesn’t care.  Go to scripture and fight BACK with the very WORD breathed out of our Lord’s mouth.  Victory is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord!  AMEN!

Possessed

"Not that i have now attained (this ideal), or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own." Philippians 3:12

When I immediately think of the word possessed, it brings up all sorts of negative connotations.  I am reminded of images from horror movies where heads spin backwards or of ex-boyfriends who are possessive and mean or being in possession of something you are not suppose to have.  So when God brought this verse to me today and decided to turn all of this upside down, I was bewildered.  In the NLT (New Living Translation) it says we are possessed by Christ. Now we have heard we are Christ Treasured POSSESSION, but this possessed thing, made me think of something different that I couldn't quiet put my finger on. So I do what always helps me, I went to my dictionary app and looked up the word posses to better wrap my brain around thinking of that word in a different light.  Here's what I found:  to have as belonging to one; (POSSESSION, got that one) to maintain control over; to occupy or hold.  
Interesting!! Of course being a treasured possession wholly owned by the One who has sealed me with the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption is marvelous and gives me the warm fuzzies.  But there in that occupy, to hold, to maintain control definition, hmmmm, no thank you.  But God, said wait a second, that's the world definition, I can take what looks like a negative and turn it into a positive.  I never like thinking that someone could control or have a hold over me. But we are talking about someone we are talking about THE SOME ONE! JESUS, YES! PLEASE keep hold of me, occupy me, my thoughts, my ways, my actions, my attitudes.  And maintain control of this pesky flesh that seems to always be causing problems when I am controlled by it.  So we are POSSESSED!!  Gloriously possessed by the One True Living God of Love.  And why is He possessing me?  To perfect me!  To make sure I am fully developed and lacking nothing (James 1:4)!  So don't wallow in your imperfections.  Or allow the enemy to make you believe those mistakes are evidence that God is NOT at work.  Hold fast to these verses that say, when he first lay hold of us, he had a plan and that plan was that we would be made perfect for His use, His plan and His Glory. Reach today for the Author and PERFECTOR of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).  I think a lot of times I get confused and when I make a mistake and mess up or make the wrong choice that God is so disappointed in my imperfection or surprised by it but He isn't. And He is at work, constantly teaching me, changing me, equipping me, and making me look more and more like Jesus.  It isn't an easy road but oh how worth it it is! He says just keep reaching beloved.  It's in the reaching for righteousness I'm well pleased, because that means you're reaching for me.  I have no righteousness of my own. NONE, ZERO, ZILCH!  And I fool myself if I think I do.  It is when I live out in that possessed state, under the control, command, and will of The Spirit, that all sorts of remarkable things take place. Of myself I am NOTHING, but possessed by My Jesus, I'm being made perfect, being conformed into His imagine so one day in Him, I will lack nothing.  So lets walk around possessed today shall we!  Possessed by Our One True Love, Jesus Christ!

Lord, possess us today, all of us.  Every thought, every attitude, every word, every action, every dream so that we may bring you glory and help us to submit to the process of being perfected, so we will lack nothing.  We love you Lord so much and we pray in Jesus Name.  Amen.